My android plays Deezer songs great, my wife's iphones plays Deezer song great, but we can't play different songs at the same time. We get a message stating (tracks can't be played on two phones)
Both phones are listed in settings - devices?
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If you don't have family account then it makes sense . If you want to play simultaneously in 2 devices or more you need to have Family subscription . Premium subscription allowing up to 3 devices to be connected to the same account but you can't use Deezer on more than one device .
I have a family account but still cant play on two devices simultaneously
Even with family subscription i am not able to play on two devices simultaneously using the same account.
Did you create other profiles?
As
Invited accounts log in with their own username and password, profile user log in with the admin account data and then switch to their own profile in app settings. 
Hey
I’ve checked your account in the system and you have not created profiles yet.
Please check the following article from our support page: https://support.deezer.com/hc/en-gb/articles/206096891-Creating-a-Deezer-Family-Profile
if you have any further questions please let us know :)
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